So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize