i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
