its not stalking. its research.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
