CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
This toilet bowl is my home.
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