We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
