we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
