I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
