I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
