At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize