i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
