Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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