If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
