OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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