blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
