No more Irish car bombs ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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