That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
