Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
