Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
