Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
