it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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