He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
