Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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