I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
