How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
