Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
