At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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