oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize