you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize