dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
