I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
