just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
