why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize