I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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