he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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