Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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