soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize