end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
