We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
