Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
vagina is talking i cant
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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