AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
