Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
