She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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