that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
