1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
