If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize