just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
