I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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