just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
