I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
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