shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
