You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
