Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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