wakey wakey hands off snakey
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
