its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
