can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
