I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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