Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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