why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
