too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
