Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
