4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize