so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
