Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
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