I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
