do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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