What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
