a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
