Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
