So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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