Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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