Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
