hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
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