The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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