I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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