if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
