So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
