jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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